Author: C. D. Anderson
Last week my wife and I went to our favorite Chinese restaurant, and at the end of the meal, we opened our fortune cookies as usual. But when I saw my fortune this time, it was incredible.
Finally, I thought to myself, a diet plan I can follow! It doesn't have any foods I have to avoid. It doesn't make me count calories. It doesn't make me measure portions. I don't have to go to any meetings. All right, I can do that! All I have to do is figure out the right way to use this fortune that's been written especially for me. I can't go wrong!
You see, it said:
YOU WILL HAVE A NEW LOOK THAT WILL DO WONDERS.
How could I miss? That phrase, NEW LOOK, flashed and blinked in front of my eyes, I wanted it so bad I could almost taste it. All I had to do was figure out exactly what to do with this incredible fortune to get my NEW LOOK. I thought, OK, I'll try putting it in my wallet so I can keep it close at hand all day and see if that works. So, into my wallet it went, right in front of that OLD LOOK driver's license picture. That way, I could carry it with me everywhere I went. If I have it with me all the time, that's a good thing, right? That surely ought to be enough, right?
Wrong the first time.
OK, time for a new plan. Maybe if I tape it to the corner of my mirror. I think the problem with having it in my wallet was that I wasn't reading it every day. You know, out of sight, out of mind. Or maybe it's just because I was trying to fly by the seat of my pants, and my fortune didn't like being sat on. So, I taped it to my mirror. I got up every morning and I read my own personal fortune, promising me my NEW LOOK. Every night before I went to bed, I read it again. I was so sure I'd found the magic key this time. That should have worked, right?
You guessed it. Wrong the second time.
Well, you know what they say about trying again. So, I tried my third and very best plan. I taped it smack in the middle of my steering wheel, so I could read it all the time when I was driving. I have a really long commute (both ways) so I figured I'd increase my opportunities to incorporate my fortune right into my brain cells, and finally, I would see that NEW LOOK. Because, you know, they PROMISED! That should have worked, right?
Well, my car has a NEW LOOK, but I look pretty much the same, under all these bandages.
So, you can take time to thank me now, because I've saved you a lot of work, See, you can cross the Fortune Cookie Diet off your ways to lose weight without even having to try it.
Believe me, it's just too dangerous!
C. D. Anderson knows how hard it is to lose weight and keep it off. If you need to lose weight, help is available at http://www.loseweightwithstripthatfat.info.